Hospice

5 years and just over 1 month ago I was sitting at the Elkhart Hospice Care Center.

My great grandmother I spoke of in a previous blog was there after having  massive stroke.

We were there for 1 week while we waited for her to pass. I twas the hardest  two weeks of my life after her stroke a week in which was spent at the Hospice Center.

Today my clinical rotation is with an at home hospice organization.

I am worried about my emotions as I see these people and their families.

I remember the days like they were yesterday.

The nurses that took care of my great grandmother were the most amazing people in the world. They were so attentive to my grandmother and I was so thankful for their care. They were also very caring for my family and I as we sat there day in and day out.

Today, I hope to give comfort to families today as I help care for their loved ones.

Today, I pray for all those families in those rooms who are suffering the pain that my family did.

So I started this blog at 6am before I left for my day.

Here it is the end of my day and I am kind of in shock.

As I said earlier I was with my great-grandma in a hospice facility for a week. She was unconscious and didn’t talk to us at all 4 days post stroke. She was put into hospice care day 6.

I met my nurse at the first client’s house this morning as I walked around the corner I found this patient sitting in a chair, up right. Talking. laughing. joking. moving all extremities and didn’t look very sick.

I was so shocked. I thought I knew what hospice care was, keeping those who are dying comfortable. Letting them go into their next life pain free.

Where my assumptions went wrong was that not all patients in hospice care are going to be comatose, unresponsive, unable to move at all.

Some are still very active but are unfortunately still dying.

I think that made it all harder.

When my Mama Smith was in hospice we prayed and prayed over her to go home with the Lord and Poppy. We knew there was nothing we could do. We knew that no matter what the doctors did she had too much brain damage to function. She was already unconscious and we knew for years all she wanted was to go be with the Lord and Poppy.

But, seeing the patient today who was very much active and talking and wasn’t ready to go. I was heartbroken. Wishing there was something more to do. Wishing there was a cure for him was a something I couldn’t stop thinking about as I sat there longer and longer and he made me laugh.

Hospice was a rotation I looked forward to for so long. Because I remember how those nurses and aids took care of my Mama Smith and my family. I was so touched!

I enjoyed this rotation because I was able to see the other side of hospice that I hadn’t experienced yet.

This definitely takes a very special person to do this job. It is a very interesting job. and I have much respect for those that take care of these people. They develop such a relationship knowing that they can’t help this patients. They can only make them comfortable.

with a heavy heart today.

peace and love. much much love. ♥

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