Back to reading this book.
I think there are always things that you can improve no matter if things are good or bad.
I think its scary to admit your faults. but I think it is important to do that and figure out how to improve them.
One of my faults is in my relationships. All of my relationships.
I struggle with many of my relationships in my life.
my family. my friendships. my romantic relationship as well.
So, its time to go full force on soul searching.
So, the start is learning love.
learning to love myself. and learning how I can better love someone else and to better understand how I need to be loved.
So I just read through chapter three.
I feel like I just got hit by a bus.
You know when you think you know something and then you learn about it and you are like wow, that is not at all what I thought it was.
Well that’s how I feel right now.
Chapter 3 was about “in love”
did you know that that is an obsession, that it is something that shouldn’t last. that it is basically just a high that you have and then its over.
the book says it typically lasts 2 years.
and here I am thinking… hmm. this sucks.
why? because I’m 21 years old. most of my friends are engaged or even married or at least in very serious relationship that is most likely going to result in marriage here in the next few years. and I haven’t had a relationship that lasts longer than 2 years.
There was a relationship that lasted more than 2 years. but it was on and off again. and never really consistent.
So this concept of losing the “in love” feeling.
They say that “real love” comes after this emotional high of “in love”
But the book talked about how the real love doesn’t always happen. people bail or they settle in to being miserable.
so how do you get this real love to come through? thats what I want to know. i want real love. I want real happiness. I don’t want to fake it. I don’t want to settle.
I want love and i want a life.
So how do we figure out how to get there?
the book says learn the love language.
the book used the metaphors “love tank” When your love tank is empty you act one way. when your love tank is full you act completely different.
so where is your love tank? empty or full?
When you love your partner with the right love language their love tank will be full. If you don’t love them with their love language they will suffer an empty love tank.
So if you figure out how to give a full love tank you can find that real love. create that real love and make it last.
make your relationship last past that two years emotional high in love feeling.
So figure out your love language and get your partner to figure out theirs.
Quotes from the book. These will make you think y’all.
“for love, we will climb mountains, cross seas, traverse desert sands, and endure untold hardships. Without love, mountains become unclimbable, seas uncrossable, deserts unbearable, and hardship our lot in life” – ugh no kidding – a loved heart makes you think you can do anything be anything – but a broken heart makes it hard to even go get food.
“love that is essential to our emotional health”
ps. this love tank is for all stages of your life. it starts as a child – the book talks about a child who has a full love tank grows up to be a responsible adult – a child without a full love tank is emotionally and socially challenged – so parents make sure your child’s love tank is full! always. don’t set them up for failure.
“we choose to be kind and generous, that is real love”
friends i seriously suggest getting this book you can get it on Amazon for just $9
peace and love.
wait for new chapters to be talked about – or get it and read it with me.